Last week, we began looking at the disease of bitterness that Hebrews 12:15 talks about: “Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled; Lest there be any fornicator, or profane person, as Esau, who for one morsel of meat sold his birthright.”
We talked about tracing the root of bitterness and recognizing that those who are bitter are often blind to their own sin.
Today, we want to look at some symptoms of bitterness.
Bitterness defiles others (Hebrews 12:15).
Have you ever heard the phrase, “Misery loves company”? The bitter person shares his offences and complaints with others until they are infected with this disease, as well.
Bitterness is linked to a host of other sins (Hebrews 12:16).
The author of Hebrews links bitterness with the sins of fornication and being profane. Most of us probably understand fornication and how it is tied to our lusts. Profane, though, may be a new one for us. Being profane doesn’t just mean using bad words in our conversation. It means to take something that is holy and make it common in our views and actions. The bitter person takes the things of the Lord and starts treating them as base and common things. Worship, church, and spiritual conversations become trivial and boring and no longer stir our hearts.
Bitter people often become isolated people (Proverbs 18:19).
This verse tells us that an offended brother is harder to be won than a strong city! Bitter people put defensive walls up. They let few in and certainly not those who would disagree with them or confront their bitterness. Bitter people often become lonely people.
Bitter people do not seek the good of others (Jonah 4:1-3).
Jonah didn’t want anything to do with God’s plan of goodness for the Ninevites and would have rather died than help them and obey God.
Bitter people have an incredible memory (Ruth 1:20-21).
They recall all the wrong done to them, rehearse it, retell it, and dwell on it. The memory of hurt becomes a part of who they are and how they see themselves.
These are just some of the ways we can begin to tell if we are dealing with the disease of bitterness. So, where do we start if we recognize it in our lives?
First, realize that all bitterness is ultimately a sin against God. Remember that the first part of Hebrews 12:15 says, “Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God.” What does it mean to “fail of the grace of God”? Our bitterness likely started when we failed to grab hold of God’s grace in regards to a particular offence.
Imagine it this way: every day God is pouring out gifts like mercy, grace, strength, provision, and peace upon us. When we recognize that it is God himself Who is offering and providing those gifts to us, we need to receive and accept them. To do this, we accept a gift of God by faith (Ephesians 2:8-9), the same way we accept Christ’s offer of salvation! We have to believe that what Christ is doing and the grace He is giving us is far better than the offence we endured. We receive by faith that His plan, His ways, and His means are righteous, holy, and good.
By the way, this doesn’t absolve others who have wronged us of guilt, but instead entrusts the situation we are in to our perfect, holy, and righteous Judge and King Who holds all things in the palm of His hands! We must accept this by faith. If we will not, then we fail of the grace of God; and bitterness will be the outcome. If we recognize that there was a point in which we failed of the grace of God and thereby sinned against Him, we need to confess that to God and ask His forgiveness.
The wonderful truth is that “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (I John 1:9). The promise of this verse is that God will both restore the relationship between us and Him and cleanse us of our sin of bitterness. Whether we have been struggling with bitterness for a week, month, year or decade, God’s promise is that He will forgive and cleanse us if we confess it. What better news could there be! God is faithful to us even when we fail to lay hold of his grace. This is the first priority.
The second priority is to make relationships right with others if needed. Remember, often our bitterness doesn’t affect just ourselves. Without our even knowing it, we could have hurt our families, friends, co-workers, and fellow brothers and sisters in Christ with our bitter conversations and social distancing. Ask God to show you what He would have you to do now that you are in a right relationship with Him. It may be that He will lay certain people on your heart that you need to either forgive or ask forgiveness of. Sin is complicated and messy. While God removes the sin, the consequences of it sometimes remain. Seek the Holy Spirit’s help through prayer. Reach out to faithful brothers and sisters in Christ or talk with one of our pastors for accountability or counsel.
These steps may be uncomfortable, but they can also be very rewarding. You may find very quickly that joy returns, and healthy relationship begin to form and re-form as your walls come down. The best part is that God will be glorified through your humble obedience to Him!