Because each marriage contains two selfish people who fundamentally desire their “own way” (Isaiah 53:6), conflict between a husband and wife is inevitable. When those conflicts surface, we often encounter one or both of the following temptations: to respond to the conflict in a fleshly manner or to reconsider our marriage vows.
Please know today that fleshly solutions never solve spiritual problems between two selfish people. Instead, commit to God and your spouse that you will strive to deal spiritually with every sinful issue that surfaces in your marriage. Romans 8:6-8 reminds us that living carnally, or fleshly, only brings more death and further separation from God. The last thing any of us needs while experiencing conflict with our spouse is to also experience a strained relationship with God.
Some conflicts between spouses are not solved overnight. It takes time for spiritual problems to be solved with spiritual solutions. The seemingly long amount of time to solve problems causes a lot of couples to grow weary and entertain the possibility of throwing in the towel and quitting on the marriage.
But you and I should remain committed to our marriages for two reasons. First, because marriage is designed by God to be a picture of His relationship with His Church. We offend God when we attempt to destroy His picture. We should be loyal and committed to our spouse because of what marriage represents.
Second, we should be committed to our marriages because we made a vow to our spouse before God that we would remain married to that person until death parts us. Our culture would say that divorce is permissible because marriage is fundamentally about your preference; therefore, if your spouse is no longer your preference, then you have every right to end the relationship and look for another. But commitment to our marriage is not a matter of preference; it is a matter of integrity.
Hallmark defines romance with syrupy phrases that make a person feel really good. I would like to suggest, though, that romance is best communicated with words that communicate security, not “fuzzy” feelings. One of the most romantic things we can do for our spouse is to communicate that we are going to solve problems in spiritual ways and that we are firmly committed to our marriage.
Love your spouse! Stay faithful to God and each other. Satan is lodging a full-blown war on marriages, but victory is possible with Christ.